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I wanted to hop on today and share with you one of the key facets that I find really important and helpful in navigating this world as human beings.
I was talking to some friends and dear ones this past weekend, and I believe one of the things that we humans struggle with most is the ability to hold space for paradox.
What I mean by that is - I find that we as humans really struggle to hold space for the Both / And.
We like to live in the world of dichotomies of either / or, right or wrong, black or white, up or down, masculine or feminine. We want to create a life that fits in little boxes (made of ticky-tacky) where there is a very clear right or wrong. Yes, or no.
I notice that within our emotional landscape, it's really difficult for us to hold space for complex and nuanced emotions...all at the same time.
A mindfulness practice that I want to share with you today to support navigating this emotional terrain is the cultivation of dual awareness.
This practice is inviting us to hold space for multiple realities, multiple truths, and multiple experiences...
At the same time.
For example. Let's say you are navigating grief. And let's say you recently have lost someone you love.
Now in that experience of grief, there can be immense heartbreak, where literally the sensation of your body feels like your heart is broken. There might be a depth of pit to your chest. There might even be some visuals or images that come up in this experience.
While you are noticing and observing this experience of heartbreak, you might also be noticing that there might be parts of your heart that experience gratitude, that this individual that you loved and knew in this world, that gratitude for having them in your life.
You may also be experiencing simultaneous anger, anger at the world that they're no longer here, anger at them for choices or behaviors that may have led to a shortened time here on this planet.
The idea is - holding space for all of these emotional experiences - at the same time.
It's not that our heartbreak is more important than our gratitude. Or our gratitude is more profound than our anger.
It's about... how do we expand out our emotional capacity to hold nuances of emotional truths at the same time?
There can be mindfulness practices that help us navigate these emotional truths where we get to notice different sensations that arise... different emotions that make themselves known... different memories that come up in our minds eye. And we can hold space for that.
We can notice the arising of - let's say our body being flooded by heat and anger. How can you notice that experience and NOT push it away?
As you notice the heat and anger, ask yourself...
What else am I experiencing in this moment?
It can be helpful to draw your attention back to the present moment. Remind yourself of the date, the year, the location of where you are physically in time and space.
That's where you get to notice experiencing grief in LIVE TIME.
Simultaneously remembering that you are here, now, in the present moment.
Orienting to the here and now can help you avoid getting flooded by past memories, past emotions, past experiences.
One of the key attributes of trauma is when our past becomes present and we live as if the past is unfolding in the present moment.
The more you get to cultivate this practice of dual awareness, you get to remember that the past is in the past and the present is in the present.
You can practice holding the awareness for both truths simultaneously.
That your awareness of the present doesn't mitigate your pain or your heartbreak, or any of your emotions that are connected to the past.
If you're interested in learning more about this practice of dual awareness, I invite you to join me on my next adventure of Rising Strong™ Through the Chakras, which will begin in January 2022.
One of the key phrases in Rising Strong™ Through the Chakras: how to transform trauma and create a life of inner freedom in 90 days.
RSTC is a three-month journey where we will explore lots of different practices that help us transform our relationship to trauma, help us move through it so that we can create more agency, change and resilience in the present moment.
If you're interested, please reach out. I'd love to hear from you!
Talk to you soon.
Wholeheartedly,
